Oh yeah... I forgot...

Hey everyone. I hope this is the start of my BS blog here. Lots has happened since October (as you can see from my "2nd Childhood"). In either case, thanks for reading =)

2nd Childhood...

So before you continue reading, I just want to tell you that I'm a little high (ok, alot high). Now that we got that outta the way, on to the entry...

So the last couple of weeks have been pretty hard on me at my job. My job... the one thing I have now that so many seek. We recently moved offices, and I went above and beyond to help in every and any which way I could. Now all that has gotten me is worry, frustration, and annoyance. Let's break it down...

The "Worry": I worry my skills are irrelevant now that everything I did at my old office is now handled by at least four major departments. The Jack-of-All-Trades got beat by the major corporation big enough to afford a team of specialists.

The "Frustration": Since I've moved, I've done about 4 combined hours of real work within any given week. Now, I'm coming from a job that had me there for at least 9 hours a day (lunch during that time was me eating at my desk, waiting for the next "fire" to put out). I was used to doing alot, walking alot, and thinking alot. Now? The main thing I work out is keeping my seat as warm as possible.

The "Annoyance": This one is more geared one person... my supervisor/manager/boss. He's been cool about it all, but dude, tell me my fate. If I knew three weeks ago that I would be let go at the end of January or something, I could have used the time looking for a new job. Instead I've been feeling for new positions, instead of going after them hardcore. I'm on the proverbial fence: Should I stay or should I go before I get a definite answer?

I guess the one thing I would love most this Christmas is a new start. Whether it be with a new job or a new department, a new start in my career might motivate me to grow up and stop living my 2nd childhood.


30 minutes on an Orbitrek...

Woo! I feel great! As the title implies, I just finished using one of those fandango exercise-at-home machines (in this case, the Orbitrek Elite) for half an hour. I don't know when was the last time I sweated like that. It's been so long, it felt disgustingly refreshing! A few more weeks on that thing, and I should be able to see that ab or two hiding underneath my beer gut. I'm still doing my usual exercises people, so if you know of any lonely women in December... tell 'em to call me =) LoL.

I'm watching the NLCS right now. I have to say that this might be a first for me: I'm enjoying watching a National League baseball game. I'm not choosing sides, since both teams don't interest me (Phillies and Dodgers? C'mon). I will admit, it has become exciting with Manny Ramirez in the Dodger lineup. I had to slow down my exercises when he came up to bat; he's THAT good.

So I'm back on my tattoo goal. However, things have changed dramatically since my last ink post. For starters, I'm getting a different design. The one I told you about before is still a possibility, but it's been pushed to either the third or fourth design I would ever get (if I even get that far). The next one I get will be of:

Saint Michael!

It has a personal significance to me (and those who know me understand what it is). I plan on getting it on my upper left arm in black ink (no color). I'm not planning on the same artist, since I read some interesting news about him. For starters, he has what others called an "attitude". He would make recommendations on how your tattoo should look (as if something not to par with his high taste shouldn't be inked by him). He's also very booked. If I wanted that tattoo from him, I'd probably be getting it done by spring! Lastly, he has outrageous rates. Why do you ask? Because celebrities have gone to him. Of course, you know what that does to the name and ego of a "world class" arteest. I'll give you all the scoop on who I chose once the tat is done.

That's all for now.


Wet City...

It's raining today. Blah!

Well, let me entertain you a bit before I start thinking about lunch. As some of you may know (or none of you... I don't know who reads this blog), my company is merging with another one effective October 1st. After that, plans are in place to physically move our office to the new company's headquarters downtown (near Ground Zero). Where I wouldn't usually care where we moved, this time around I have to. You see, as the office manager of this space now, I will be in charge of coordinating some (or most) of the move downtown. What does this mean? Working weekends and late nights. And the best part... I'm not eligible for overtime! Yeah! *sighs, then chuckles into a weeping sound*

At least I'll have this blog (for the time being) and my friends to keep me sane during those times (and possibly drunk).


The End of the End...

Last you heard from me, I was typing "As this unravels, I'll truly see if these 16 months has been a wake up call for me". Well... SURPRISE!

Since that last post, my girl and I have parted ways. Not in the traditional sense (she's still living with me until the 30th), but apart nevertheless. In some ways, I feel relieved that this has happened. Like I stated once before, I don't believe I am the relationship type. As a result, my personality was one she couldn't stand anymore. My lack of motivation to return to school... my "non-boyfriend" qualities... the way I choose to live my life (and not a "normal" one). Yes folks... this is truly a mixed blessing.

Having issues the last few months has caused me to revert back to smoking. I don't like smoking as much as the next person, but I find it as something legal that can kill me faster (or help me live forever). However, one bonus out of all of this is the fact that I've been exercising more. Either I subconsciously use it to relieve stress around me, or I'm preparing for a fall season that will have me playing the role of James Bond every other day (except with a Sam Adams and not a martini). Can you believe I have peck muscles? I didn't know I had those! Awesome!

So I will leave you all for now. Lots of changes have occurred since my last posts, and I plan on going into more detail about them soon. For example, I've gotten promoted... my job is merging with another company... and I seem to be running into more and more people from my past. With that, adios!

With my new outlook in life coming up on me fast, I've decided to revert to a name I have used in the past. Panama Red is gone. He was a man trying to find himself amidst indecision and belittlement. Please welcome back Dead at 21! I know it sounds more dreary and depressing, but it's the moniker that brought me from depression into happiness (as temporary as it lasted).


Is It The Beginning of the End...?

Let's skip the "It's been such a long time" talk and get down to business...

Another argument has happened in the cove that is my relationship. This time, it was in front of one of her friends (and I was the one with the cool head this time, recommending we speak in private instead of in front of her gal pal). I can't say it was the biggest or harshest argument we've had, but this definitely ranks up there with all the stupid ones. She seriously got pissed at me because I disappeared for about an hour, while she was left to entertain our guests. I just went out in the hallway to have a smoke and some alone time... shit! Excuse me for taking a break from my duties as head clown at the circus.

Anyway, it pissed me off because she made it seem like she couldn't entertain our guests alone. For Christ sake, one "guest" was her best friend and the other was my cousin (who she's cool with). It's not like she was with strangers... It's not like she didn't know where the fucking salt was... She complains about how she doesn't have anything of her own in this house, and how she wants to move into our own apartment - yet when given the opportunity to make it her house or to even make it her own gathering, she points the finger at me and makes me look like the ungrateful person who became selfish.

I'm tired of being made to feel like I'm under her. I'm sick and tired of feeling like a butler. I see this last argument as one of the last ones we will ever have. I personally think she made the mistake of rushing over here and moving in with me (just over a year of being together). Couples need space to be themselves. They need their personal space and things. Here, neither of us have that. In a perfect world, we would each have our own place and be in a relationship where seeing each other doesn't turn into an argument.

I've come to the realization that, maybe, I'm not the relationship type. I'm not the fucking family man who is so full of cheer that he can double as jolly ol' St. Nick. Maybe I'm the lifelong single guy who drinks, smokes, has meaningless sex, and answers to no one but himself and his limitations. As this unravels, I'll truly see if these 16 months has been a wake up call for me.


Intensified, A+ Certified...

Good news people: I passed my exams! I'm A+ Certified! Awwww yeeeeeeaaaahhhh!!!

It wasn't easy, but I finally accomplished what I set forth to do months ago. And it took me two weeks to do it =( Lemme explain: Last weekend (February 23rd), I took my first crack at the A+ exams. There are four exams total. One of them is required (the Essentials exam), and the other three are split into tracks. Depending on which one you want to do (IT Technician, Remote Support Technician, Depot Technician), you only have two exams to pass. My first time around, I failed the Essentials exam (by like, two friggin' questions) and passed the IT Technician exam. Today... I came back and spanked the Essentials exam in the ass! So thank you everyone for believing I could do it. If you were all able to follow me this far, I hope you can keep me some more company: I plan on taking a few more certifications soon!

Next in my sights include the CompTIA Network + Certification (kinda like the A+ certification's cousin, but dealing with networks and how to work them), the deceptively easy Microsoft Office Specialist Certification (which when you think of it, might not be worth it... stay tuned), and the big fish... the Microsoft Certified Systems Administrator Certification (well, it's big for me).

On another note, I'm still working out and beginning to see slight progress. If I keep this up, I should be fit by summer time (I might even feel comfy enough to remove my shirt in public).

Until then, stay tuned here for all your Panama news =)


My Feet Are Pulsing...

The stats:

Weigh-in came in at 192lbs (after the workout).

The workout lasted for about 50 minutes.

My BMI was 26.8 (labeling me as overweight according to the National Heart Lung and Blood Institute).

Food I ate so far today: Dunkin Donuts' sausage, egg & cheese (with a chocolate glazed donut), Russel Stovers chocolates.

Liquids I drank so far today: Coffee, water, and a sip of Sprite.

NOTE: I think I want to try something new. All through my exercise regimen, I'm neglecting my chest. The arms get all the love... So to switch it up, I will incorporate some push-ups in my exercise (while eliminating one arm exercise). I'll let you all know how it goes.

Tomorrow is...

Satan's holiday... Valentine's Day. Oh how much I loathe this day. I've come to realize that it wasn't the fact that I was single all those years, but a genuine hatred of this "holiday". The way men scramble to find the "perfect gift" for their ladies... the unimagineable prices at restaurants and hotels... the boring sight of red roses, chocolates, and ugly teddy bears... it sickens me. Ugh!

So you might be wondering what I'm doing for my girl, eh? Well I'll tell you. Instead of letting the day drive me insane, I've decided to use my patented multi-gift idea =) My woman is going to receive multiple, low-scale gifts (that way, she won't be overly disappointed on any of them). Since I love you all so much, I'll share what they will be:

First gift: Your usual, sappy message Valentine's Day card.

Second gift: A $25 gift card to Chipotle restaurant (hey, she wanted that, ok?).

Third gift: A homemade copy of the movie Hot Rod (something she's been talking about getting for a while). Now you might wonder what makes it homemade... Well for starters, I created a DVD-rip of the original (all the movie and features, none of the price or packaging). Then, I created a package for it to add that "from the heart" effect (see pic below).

Fourth gift: Sex! (of course)

Since money is tight at the moment, this is the best I can do. I've always known that it's not always what you get, but how you give it. Remember that, folks... that one's free =)

I Think It's My Feet...

"Welcome back"! I bet that's what you were thinking, huh? Yeah, yeah... I've been away for about 10 days. But I'm back now, and I have some new happenings.

So in case you're wondering, I'm still exercising. I was getting a bit lazy lately due to stress and weather (believe it or not, it can wreck havoc on how a person feels). The last time I weighed myself, I was about 196lbs. Nothing big... except that it was a day after I clocked in at 191lbs (personally, I think the difference was 5lbs of feces in my intestines). My eating habits have begun to go back to the good ol' days of friend food and late night snacks. And I've also deviated from my beer diet (really, who was I trying to fool?). Right now, I'm just focusing on my current exercise (which is beginning to give me nicer looking arms).

Aside from that, things have been happening with work too. It has been confirmed that I am getting a promotion (although I'm not sure if I'll get jerked with an insulting salary). It should be effective as of mid-March, so keep checking on here to see any updates.

So I'm drinking water and waiting for the copy machine repair guy to arrive. The weather sucks ass outside, and my mood is 'blah'. I already want to leave... it's been such an unproductive day =(

I'll try to remember to post the tally tonight...